Elliot Wesley Easton joined our family on July 21, 2021. He was born at 11:29 p.m. at our home in Aurora. He weighed 7lbs 6oz and was 20.5 inches at birth.
It's taken me some time to write down all of Elliot's birth story. Having 5 kids sure does take up a lot of your time! Elliot's birth was such a special experience for us, and since it was different from our 4 previous ones, I really wanted to remember and record every detail I could think of. So, here goes:
We found out we were pregnant at the very end of November 2020. I decided that I wanted to do a home birth with this baby. I had great birth experiences before with midwife-attended water births in the hospital, but I have always disliked the postpartum hospital stay afterwards. This time I wanted to be at home in my own bed with my family close. I didn't like the idea of being woken up and bothered in the middle of the night for temperature/blood pressure checks, or being told I couldn't sleep with my baby in my arms or that I couldn't leave the hospital on my own terms. I had liked the idea of doing a home birth for a while, but I already had hospital midwives in Indiana I was comfortable with and I didn't feel a big need to change. Being pregnant with baby #5 in Colorado, I would have to find a new midwife anyway. With the COVID-19 pandemic still going strong, I knew that hospital restrictions would be tighter than ever and Mckay would be the only support person or visitor allowed. Our children wouldn't be able to meet their new sibling right away. I knew they might require wearing a mask in labor. Knowing how much I rely on calming, deep breathing to help me focus through contractions, wearing a mask would be setting me up for an incredibly difficult labor experience—something I did not want.
I found a group of Certified Nurse Midwives (CNM, the same credentials as hospital midwives) that do home births. I felt really comfortable with Tiffany, Lauren and Megan and their balance between trusting moms to birth their own babies and supporting with medical intervention as necessary. As an added perk, they were also covered by our insurance. The only downside was that the office location was in Colorado Springs—an hour south of us—but they attend births in South Denver so we were in their service region.
I had a smooth pregnancy and was a great candidate for home birth. Except for painful varicose veins all over the lower half of my body that have gotten worse with each pregnancy and made standing and walking difficult, it was an uneventful pregnancy. We chose to not find out the baby's gender again during the 20 week ultrasound. It had been such a neat experience to find out at birth when Addison was born, so we wanted to do that again. And It was even easier this time because now we had both boy and girl clothes ready.
In April, Mckay got a new job in Boulder and we knew the long commute wouldn't work for our family, so we made plans to sell our house, build a new one in Longmont and prepare to move, but to still have a home birth in our Aurora home. My due date was July 30th, so we hoped the baby would come a little early like the 3 births before so we could move north in time to get the kids ready to start at their new schools.
36 weeks
At 38 weeks along, my mom came from Arizona to be there for the birth and help with the older kids. I had a lot of contractions in the days after she arrived. Monday night on July 19th, we watched Mission Impossible and I was having contractions 5 minutes apart throughout the movie. Then they just stopped. I went to bed and woke up at 2 a.m. on the 20th and felt a contraction. I'm not sure if it was the contraction that woke me or if waking up and moving made me have a contraction, but they kept coming. I timed them while half asleep, resting between each one. They were coming every 5 minutes for almost 2 hours. I was thinking, "This is it! I don't want to wake anyone yet, but if they're still regular at 6 a.m. when Mckay gets up for work, then I'll call the midwife." I fell asleep around 4am and didn't have anymore contractions all morning. I was starting to feel frustrated and anxious because I just wanted to get things over with. And with the closing on our house approaching, I knew the sooner I had the baby, the more recovered I would feel when it was time to move in a few short weeks.
On Wednesday, July 21, I had a midwife appointment. I was 38 weeks and 4 days. Mckay worked from home that day so he could come with me to the appointment. I talked to Lauren about my worries with the move timeline and with the frequent contractions. She offered to do a membrane sweep. They don't routinely do cervical checks and membrane sweeps, but can if warranted. Lauren said that if a membrane sweep would help put me at ease then it was worth it. She said I was about 4 cm dilated, so all the contractions I'd been having weren't for nothing and would probably make my labor shorter once it started. She felt the baby's position through my belly and commented that he was laying with his spine off to the side, instead of lined up in the front along my belly button and chest. While he was still head down, his face was facing more towards my front (a posterior presentation) instead of towards my back. And laying along the side of my uterus like that meant that his head wasn't fully down and engaged in the pelvis. Lauren told me that if we could get his body laying differently with his head turned and lower, the pressure would encourage dilation and labor. So she gave me some yoga exercises to do as homework.
I got home from the appointment and started doing cat-cow yoga poses and all the other suggestions to encourage the baby to move from my side. I didn't notice or feel any change to the baby's position, but I soon got busy doing other things. Around 5 p.m., mom and I started making lasagna for dinner. I was timing my contractions while cooking and I knew they were coming fairly frequently, but I wasn't paying much attention to them. After we got the lasagna in the oven, I looked at my timer app and saw over the course of more than an hour, the contractions had gotten closer together. They were coming every 10 minutes, then every 7 minutes, then every 5 minutes. As we finished preparing dinner, I took several breaks to sit on the yoga ball during contractions. I could feel more intensity in my back, so I suspected these were unlike the Braxton-Hicks contractions of the past couple days.
Contractions were coming every 3-4 minutes as we ate dinner. Mckay, my mom, and Connor all thought I should call the midwife. I was still hesitant because they had fizzled out before, but I said I would call after dinner if they were still coming.
A little after 7 p.m., I called. The midwife said it sounded like labor and she began heading up to us. That meant it was time to finish our checklist to prepare the birthing space in our bedroom. Mckay and the kids inflated and filled the birth tub. We put a waterproof cover and fresh sheets on the bed. The kids were overflowing with excitement. Mckay told them if they wanted to stay in the room to wait for the midwife, they would have to be silent. I've never heard those kids be silent for so long! Around 8:30 p.m., our midwife Megan and an RN both arrived to assist the birth. The kids all ran out to meet them and lead the way. Now that the whole birth team was there, it was time to put the kids in bed and get down to business. Megan asked if she could do a cervical check to gauge my progress. Including the membrane sweep earlier that day, those two were the only exams I had the entire pregnancy. I was at 4 cm.
She felt my belly to determine the baby's position for listening to his heartbeat. He was laying on my left side, the complete opposite of where he had been at my appointment! All those exercises I did must have really worked to move him and get his head in the right place to get labor going!
After taking some vitals for me and baby, Megan asked me what kind of role I wanted her to take during labor: did I want her hands-on, helping with each contraction or did I want her to give me space to do it on my own. I told her that with this being my 5th birth, I pretty much knew what I needed to do to move through each contraction and that I would need her most as I went through transition and was feeling pressure to push. I love that she asked me that. She helped me create just the right space I needed to feel comfortable so I could follow my body's instincts during birth. She was there to watch me the whole time and make sure the baby and I were supported and safe.
I got in the birth tub around 9:20 p.m. because I could tell the contractions were increasing in intensity. The next few hours are kind of a blur as far as the timeline. They checked on baby's heart rate every 30 minutes or so to ensure he was tolerating labor well and he sounded great every time. I asked Mckay to turn on a show to play in the background to take my mind off things. We watched an episode of 30 Rock and then switched to the Great British Baking Show. The calm British voices were relaxing.
Probably around 10 p.m., Megan went downstairs to lay down and rest on the couch. I'm not sure how much sleep she actually got, but she told me later (after the birth) that she ate dinner from a food truck that didn't agree with her and she threw up in the bathroom downstairs. She said she was glad she made it out of the room first and that it didn't make me throw up too!
Mckay was applying counter-pressure to my lower back for each contraction. He eventually got into the water with me to better support me. Before labor, I wasn't sure how I would feel with him there in the water in my space, but it was really comforting to have him holding me and for me to lean on him.
The contractions were exhausting me and it was getting harder to ground my thoughts between each one. Megan could tell I needed some strength and suggested some coconut water. With each sip, I felt a renewed energy and a refreshing respite from the warmth of the room. As I struggled to keep my breath slow and even, she spoke calming mantras to me, reminding me I was strong enough for this, that my body knew what to do.
(Mckay's face in this picture cracks me up.)
With all my previous births, my water was broken by my midwife or doctor. It had never broken on its own. I didn't want to have my water artificially ruptured this time, but in the past it had always seemed to help move labor along, so I was fearful I wouldn't be able to complete labor without having my water manually broken. Around 11 p.m., I could tell I was in transition by the intensity and pressure I was feeling. As I began feeling pressure to bear down, Megan directed my breathing and pushing to be slow and gentle. The baby would move down a little more with each contraction, then move back up a little, gently stretching me so tearing would be minimal. As I was bearing down, I could feel that my bag of waters was leaking out. For some reason, that gave me a renewed confidence that I COULD do this, that the baby would come out soon.
At 11:29 p.m., after about 10-15 minutes of pushing, the head was out and the rest of the body came quickly after. Mckay caught the baby from behind me and pulled him out of the water and brought him up on my chest. I wasn't expecting him to come out with that push so I was surprised and very relieved! After holding the baby to my chest for a few seconds, I pulled him back to see that he was a boy! I instantly started crying. I didn't really cry after my other births, and I teared up a little after Addison (our first girl!) was born, so I'm not sure why I bawled for this one. I think it was the combination of many things: immense joy after all the difficulty with being pregnant while selling a house, and an overwhelming feeling that this particular baby was sent to be in our family for a reason.
He didn't cry at all when he was born and he opened his eyes within the first minute. He was breathing just fine and had great coloring. He was very relaxed and snuggled up to my chest for several minutes. After some time, we got out of the water and I went over to our bed, Elliot still in my arms, umbilical cord still attached. The placenta came out as soon as I got into the bed. Megan inspected the placenta to insure it was intact and then put it in a Ziploc bag. We didn't clamp Elliot's umbilical cord until 90 minutes after his birth. That way he could get all of the blood from it. With Elliot on my chest skin to skin, they checked us both over to make sure we were doing well. I had the tiniest vaginal tear that didn't even need a stitch. I much prefer no stitches after birth; the recovery is much smoother for me.
Even after moving to the bed, Elliot was doing great. He was still content, not crying at all. His eyes were still open and looking around at the world. Even though his breathing was fine, Megan was trying to get him to cry to help clear all the normal mucus from his breathing pathways. They palpated his midsection. No crying. They flicked his feet. No crying. He was just too content. He latched onto me and tried eating for a bit. He didn't get much milk but it was good practice.
About 20 minutes after the birth, Dallin knocked on our door. He is a light sleeper and his room is right across the hall from ours, so he could hear the commotion and excitement going on in our room. I'm sure he had been up since I was in transition (I was very "vocal"), but he wisely waited until it seemed like a good time to interrupt. We invited him in to see the baby. Connor came right behind him. They held the baby for a short minute and then went back to bed. I eventually left the bed and got cleaned up with a little bit of help from the nurse. Mckay held Elliot (still attached to his placenta "briefcase"...a different experience for sure!). I felt a little weak, but not a "loss of blood, I'm going to faint" kind of weakness. It was a feeling of having depleted every bit of energy I had, much like running a long race. It was midnight, so I didn't really want to eat much. Megan brought me some fresh cherries from downstairs and some more coconut water. It was the perfect snack to replenish my body.
For the next hour, Mckay and I had mostly uninterrupted time with Elliot. Midwife Megan and the nurse went about cleaning up, starting laundry, charting birth information and such. My wonderful mother, who was there through the whole labor to support me, finally went to bed. I was exhausted but still wide awake because I couldn't get enough of the adorable baby in my arms. We took turns snuggling him and trying to think of a name. Even though I've been calling him Elliot throughout this retelling, he didn't have a name yet. We called him baby #5. We woke up Bennett and Addison around 12:30 a.m. to meet the new baby. They were pretty groggy and out of it, so the visit didn't last long, but they were excited to see him.
Around 1 a.m., Megan returned to do a final check on both of us. It was time to for Mckay to cut the umbilical cord. Megan asked if we had any plans for the placenta, like encapsulation or to plant a tree with it or something. For a slight moment, I felt like a bad "hippie" because I didn't have any plans for it (and I worked hard for 9 months to grow that thing!), but Megan assured us it was fine to throw it away and told us how. Elliot was weighed and measured. Both of us had great vitals, so our team was ready to leave us to sleep for the night, after only two hours had passed since the birth. Megan told us what things to look out for if anything were to go wrong and to call with any concerns. They left, and Mckay and I got to enjoy the quiet of the night. We looked at each other in awe of the simplicity of the experience we just had. I was really looking forward to the night ahead. I know that seems weird to think of having a peaceful night with a brand new baby, but it was. No one would come in to poke or prod. Nobody would intrude while we slept. No one would make us "switch rooms because our time was up in the labor and recovery room."
Our first night with Elliot was great. He slept for several hours in his bassinet, then several hours of nursing and sleeping on and off. Mckay and I took turns through the night rocking and holding him while the other slept. We woke up on our own around 8 a.m. I could hear the kids awake and knew my mom was keeping them away until we were ready for them. We invited them all to come in and hold the baby properly in the light of day.
My mom didn't get a chance to hold him the night before, so she got plenty of time for Grandma snuggles.
The first day after his birth was very relaxing. I never left my bed except to use the bathroom. Grandma and Grandpa Easton were on their way out of town, so they were able to stop by and see the baby on his first day before they left. Elliot and I stayed in the bedroom for 2 full days. Mckay and my mom brought all my meals up to me so I could recover. The other 4 kids came in to visit and hold the baby VERY often. I fed the baby and rested. That's pretty much it!
Part of the midwife care after birth is doing another home visit at 1 day old and 5 days old. For both visits, they came right up to my bedroom and did the exam on my own bed. I didn't have to do anything to prepare or drive anywhere. Even though it was a different midwife each time, it felt like a friend visiting. They were more concerned about how "I" was doing, not just with my immediate physical well being, but with mental and emotional health, and that I was eating well and being gentle with myself. I love that the midwife model of care focuses more on the whole person. They do newborn care up to a month old as well, so I didn't have to take Elliot out to the pediatrician. (Of course, we were welcome to do that, but we had no concerns about his health, so he didn't see a pediatrician until he was out of the midwife's care.)
Elliot didn't want to nurse very much during that first day. He was happy and content, though he did eventually figure out how to cry! He knew how to latch, but didn't seem to want to bother with it. When he was next weighed over 24 hours after birth, his weigh had gone down a little from his birth weight. It's within normal range to lose up to 10% of birth weight, and he was down 9%. He was having plenty of wet and dirty diapers, so we weren't concerned. In the next few days he really got the hang of eating and was up to 8 lbs. 11 oz. two weeks after birth. Leaving the umbilical cord intact for so long before clamping helped his umbilical stump to fall off his belly button much sooner than any of our other kids. He was only 5 days old when it happened!
He eventually got to see the inside of a hospital when he was 3 weeks old. We took him in for his state-mandated newborn screening test. Boy did they have a hard time understanding how this child came to exist without their computer system knowing about it.
Now, at three months old, he is smiling and talking. He loves having his diaper changed and loves to look at the ceiling fan. The novelty of a baby in the house has not worn off yet with the kids. They still fight over who gets to hold him. A chorus of "Elliot!" erupts from their mouths every morning when they see mom or dad emerge with him. He continues to grow in size and grow in our hearts.
I have nothing but good things to say about my experience with a home birth. It was everything I wanted and expected. I felt fully supported and cared for the entire time. I never worried for my safety or Elliot's. I trusted completely in the midwives who cared for me. If we ever have another baby, we will definitely try for another home birth. I even wish I could have done this sooner.
Here is a movie I made from the pictures and videos we took during labor and after his birth.
